Hi I decided to move to my other blog
No reason. I think I’m just bored.
The link of the other blog is hidden (not really, actually) somewhere in this page, so good luck, if you want to try finding it.
You don’t need a brain to find it, just eyes.
The power of negative thinking
This is very strange and it always happens in my life.
Let me go straight to the point. Positive thinking never works for me. It is when I lose hope that I find the light at the end of the tunnel. For example, during ARC (Automatic and Robotics Club)’s RoboChallenge competition, my team did very badly. Then they started announcing the winner of the most creative robot, etc. I had hope that we would win one of the weird-weird awards. But nope, we didn’t win any. So I lost hope. I was like “oh well nevermind, we won’t get anything”. Then suddenly, they announced us as the 3rd place in Best Timing Award. I was like “WHAT THE HELL?” because my team’s timing sucks and I never thought that we could win even the third place, after seeing all the other teams’ robot.
It is always like that. When I think everything is gonna be okay, nope, it turns out not okay. But when I curse at something, it turns out to be something enjoyable and fun.
These are the recent examples. The first one is the Hostel Camp. It’s on the same day with CJC Hostel Games and I was supposed to meet my friends there. I tried to make excuses not to go for the Camp, because I was thinking “Why would they make a hostel camp?? Most of the people here are Chinese and they would speak Chinese all the time.” But I was not allowed to not go for the Camp, because the hostel already paid, they said. I cursed all day and night. However, it turned out to be very fun. I met some guys from SMU (Singapore Management University) and had a nice talk with them. I knew more about the JC (especially MJC) students here in Anglican House. Most importantly, I enjoyed the Camp. It was fun.
The second example is the Chinese New Year dinner. I met my friends today, and I was a bit sad because actually I wanted to stay longer with them. But I had this Chinese New Year dinner today, so I must go back to the hostel before 6 pm. I was so not interested in the dinner. I even tweet “I don’t want to go to CNY dinner. I just want to sleep and let tomorrow come.” because I want to meet my friends tomorrow (and they turn out not be able to come). Then I went for CNY dinner, and it turned out to be quite fun because Sanva brought his friend here, and I, being interested in people older than me, had a nice talk with her. I also enjoyed the performances, but what I like the most is the conversation with Sanva’s friend. She is very friendly.
Then after dinner, the MJC people went to Sempang Bedok (if I spell it correctly) and ate something there. I ordered teh tarik. It was a very nice experience. The J2 students were very funny, and I had the chance to know more about them. Overall, it was very fun. I wonder what will happen if I decided to skip CNY dinner and go sleeping.
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Okay, so my point is, don’t put positive thinking like “oh it will be fun” because it brings high expectation. When it turns out that it’s not fun, you will be disappointed, and disappointment will only leave bad memories. Try to think something like “I don’t think it is going to be fun” aka try to put negative thinking. In that way, when something good happens, you will be able to appreciate it and not take it for granted.
So basically, to have more fun in life, I try to nurture negative thinking before I start doing something.
But the most important thing is your attitude. To be able to have fun in spite of all your negative thoughts, you have to respond with positive attitude. Instead of being a grumpy person, try to put a positive attitude in everything you do and enjoy every single thing that happens in your life.
Alert
February 5, 2010
Filed under School life
Tags: Anglican House, Meridian JC, new school
Okay, new school, new uniform, new friends, all is new.
Am I happy? Not really, since this is not my first choice. Somehow, when I hearthe school anthem, I think the lyric really suits me. It says “We speak with one clear voice, as this is our choice..” Then I realize, yes I chose Meridian JC over St. Andrews, so I should not regret it. Well I never have any regret anyway.
I’m all alone here. The same with Cindy last year, but Cindy had the other 11 Indon scholars, while I have none. Wait, I have one. Yeah, one. I don’t want to talk much about this, so let’s just assume I have none, ok?
My class is actually quite funny. Even those who have difficulties to make friends in class actually have other friends from the same Secondary school, but they are in different class. During break, they can go with their own friends. Enviable, right?
Most of my friends might not be able to survive if they are in my position. But it’s not a problem for me. I don’t feel anything if I do everything alone. I don’t feel lonely, I don’t feel jealous. Actually I’m used to this since I was a kid.
I’m wondering, if I can survive my JC life, my friends might say “Well, it’s Necha, she doesn’t mind to be alone. If it’s me, I won’t be able to survive”
But actually, if it has been Ate or Peti, I think they can make friends easily with the seniors and the classmates, unlike me, and they can have a better JC life. It’s because people around me are friendly and kind, but I’m not good with new people.
So my point is, everybody has his own way of surviving. I might be able to survive by being a single fighter, but it doesn’t mean that you can also survive by doing the same thing. So don’t ever say “Well, it’s Necha. Of course she can be happy even though she’s the only scholar from IJ.”
a
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Whoops, I haven’t told you anything about my JC, have I?
Okay so basically, there are only 6 scholars in Meridian JC. Please compare this to Temasek JC that has 87 scholars. So the 6 scholars are : 3 Malaysian, 2 Indonesian, and 1 Chinese.
Two of the Malaysians are direct scholar to JC, so they never go to Secondary school in Singapore before. The Chinese scholar is in ‘conditional admission’. And the Indonesian girl other than me go to MJC because of shooting DSA. She got 7 points in O level, btw. So I can say that the ‘pure’ scholars are only two persons. Whoo!
Funny, Indonesians that I know have this habit of waiting for each other after school. Unfortunately, I have nobody to wait for me, so I go back to Anglican House alone. Btw, to go to MJC from Anglican House, it takes about 10 minutes walk, 10 minutes MRT, 10 minutes walk and wait for Bus, and 10 minutes Bus. So in total, it takes about 40 minutes. To and fro.
Oh well, on the first day, I got lost 
because I wasn’t familiar with the road at all. Then I didn’t have my roommates’ phone number yet, so I had to ask somebody on the road how to go to Anglican House.
Basically it’s the same thing everyday. During CCA recruitment, I was just wandering alone trying for various CCA. It might be a new experience, but soon you will be used to it.
At first I didn’t feel anything about it. But when I went to McNair Lodge to visit my friend, I got a feeling that it can not be like this. I mean IF I choose to go to SAJC instead, I have many friends from Thailand, Cambodia, etc that I know. IF Ate choose MJC for her third choice, she might be in the same class as me and at least I have a friend. IF I’m not an introvert person, I might be very happy with my new life. There are so many IFs. I never feel sad when I went to Anglican House and to MJC, but when I saw so many Indonesians in McNair, I suddenly miss speaking Indonesian. I miss those toa Indonesian people.
And I hate those people who read this entry, who think they know everything about me and say “what a loser”.
I never complain. I’m okay with everything that’s happening in my life.
Necha already killed her feeling long time ago. Now she cannot feel anything but guilt and happiness. Well, sometimes anger comes, but she always try to suppress it. She’s never sad, and she’s never jealous.
Well, it’s Necha anyway 
Kenapa dorama cuma 9-11 episode doang??
Blogger lagi ada masalah. Ntar kalo udah bener, post ini mau dipindahin ke blog yg satu lagi.
Akhir2 ini gw males banget nulis di blog yg ini. Kalo ntar gw udah sembuh dari krisis kepercayaan diri, baru deh di update lagi. Jadi sekarang gw rajin update blog yg satu lagi.
Jadi ceritanya, temen2 gw waktu itu pernah protes : “Kenapa sih lu kalo nonton dorama ga pernah selesai??”
Dan emang bener sih, Sailor Moon, BOSS, Anna san no Omame, Futatsu no Spica, Mr. Brain, SP, Atashinchi no Danshi, Guren Onna, dkk dll itu semuanya belom gw selesaiin. Padahal beberapa dari dorama2 tersebut adalah film2 yg dengan semangatnya gw suruh temen2 gw nonton. Tapi ujung2nya malah gw yg ga selesai nonton.
Sebenernya kenapa gw ga pernah selesai nonton?
Alasannya adalah SOALNYA SATU FILM CUMA 10 EPISODE DOANG.
Mau marah tau ga sih. Itu bener2 nyebelin dan nyebelin banget. Padahal biasanya gw seneng nonton dorama2 yg karakter orang2nya gw suka. Sebagai contohnya, gw ga pernah abisin nonton Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon soalnya gw suka sama Sailor Venus nya, dan gw tau nantinya dia mati. Dan alasan lainnya adalah soalnya gw tau ketika gw selesai nonton film2 itu, gw ga bakal bisa liat mereka lagi D:
Apalagi film2 Jepang tuh jeleknya suka dipaksain abis dalam 10 episode. Jadinya beberapa doramanya abis dengan ending yg bener2 aneh.
Sekarang ini gw lagi nonton Hataraki Man dan lagi suka sama pemeran utamanya. Ini pertama kalinya gw suka sama orang gara2 suaranya. Tapi kalo gw kebut nonton dan selesainya cepet, gw ga bakal liat dia lagi. Gw ga bakal denger suaranya waktu mengeluarkan suara2 “Uge” dan ga bakal liat ekspresinya yg aneh2 lagi. Gw ga bakal liat dia dan teman2 kerjanya yg lucu2 lagi. Gw ga bakal liat dia berubah jadi Hataraki Man lagi D: D:
Dorama Jepang itu selalu bisa bikin gw semangat, ntah karena karakternya yg lucu atau ceritanya yg bagus. Tapi seperti pedang bermata dua, gw juga kadang2 depresi gara2 nonton dorama2 ini. Mm, kenapa depresi ya? Mungkin karena sekarang ini gw ga ngapa2in dan ga berusaha ngapa2in.
Bukannya mustinya gw malu dengan diri sendiri? Tadi siang waktu gw mau tidur siang, gw berpikir kalo gw ga suka marah2. Atau tepatnya gw berusaha buat ga marah2. Mungkin itu lah kenapa gw suka tidur, soalnya kalo tidur itu musti relaks, kayak melatih diri sendiri buat jadi relaks. Atau tepatnya gw jadi seorang tanpa spirit. Gw bukan hantu soalnya hantu itu spirit sedangkan gw ga punya spirit maka gw ga punya hantu.
Ini semua gara-gara Hataraki Man! Pemeran utamanya itu penuh dengan spirit yg gw ga punya. Tapi emang gw ga suka jadi orang yg penuh dengan semangat, soalnya itu bikin capek D:
Tapi apakah situasi ini tidak menyedihkan? Lagi2 gw ditarik oleh dua dunia yg berbeda. Yg satu bilang : “Oh well lu emang orangnya ga punya semangat terus kenapa memaksakan diri untuk jadi orang yg bersemangat?” Sedangkan yg satu lagi bilang : “Keadaan lu itu menyedihkan banget. Coba liat temen2 lu yg lain yang sudah berbuat sesuatu. Kalo kayak gini maka lu ga beda dengan sebuah benda kan, bukan orang. Ketika lu mati nanti, ntar waktu lu berpikir : Apa yg udah gw lakukan? maka ga ada jawabannya dan itulah kenapa lu sekarang adalah orang yg menyedihkan.”
Setiap kali nonton Hataraki Man, gw jadi bersemangat menjalani hal2 yg gw ga suka. Tapi nanti waktu gw selesai nonton filmnya, gw ga punya sumber semangat lagi D: D: dan inilah kenapa gw ga mau nonton sampe abis.
Apakah saya sedang ber emo ria? Iya, betul sekali, tiba2 saya jadi emo.
Nanti di JC gw ga mau ikut council soalnya menurut gw itu membosankan dan cuma bikin repot. Maksudnya, peduli apa gw kalo JC nya begini dan begitu? Kenapa gw musti repot2 ngurusin acara2 yg berlangsung? Mendingan gw belajar rajin aja abis itu jalan-jalan ke Jepang.
Tapi terus abis nonton Hataraki Man gw jadi berpikir buat coba ikut begituan, buat latihan melakukan hal2 yg gw ga sukai. Gw bisa berkata “Ma iya, shigoto desu kara” takutnya ntar kalo besar kaget dan kena middle age crisis.
Karena sekarang sedang liburan dan gw ga punya kerjaan, kegiatan sehari2 gw adalah : Bangun jam 1 siang, makan, tidur siang, bangun jam 5, makan, nonton sinetron sampe jam 12, tidur lagi.
Jadi intinya yg gw lakukan adalah nonton sinetron doang (sebelom gw pesen 18 judul dorama baru. YOSH) trus gw liat kalo sinetron indo emang jelek. Dan terus gw bertanya2, kenapa sih kok jelek? Dan gw menemukan jawaban : SOALNYA GA PUNYA PLOT YG JELAS. Contoh korban : Hafizah itu film yg ga punya plot dan akhirnya dia tiba2 menghilang begitu saja baru 20 episode an.
Ini adalah alesan kenapa gw ga suka Gossip Girl. Soalnya waktu gw nonton, gw bertanya2 “Ini film ceritanya ttg apa sih?”. Film yg gw suka itu Desperate Housewives, tapi sama kayak film2 indo yg punya plot, lama kelamaan ceritanya nyasar kemana-mana. Dan waktu gw bilang kemana-mana, itu berarti bener2 kemana-mana.
Kalo film2 Jepang, dia punya plot besar dan kemudian dikasih plot-plot kecil. Jadi selama filmnya berlangsung, tetep mengikuti plot besar yg ada. Ya intinya gw agak bias ke film jepang tapi well toh itu kenyataan. Film indo sucks.
Btw gw jadi ngerasa bego beli dorama banyak2 kalo cuma buat ga ditonton sampe abis.
New Year’s Eve
For me, a new year has never been special. It’s always the same every year : the whole large family will go somewhere to celebrate it. Now that my cousins are studying in the Uncle Sam country, I am left with the old generation.
But somehow, this new year is different. Maybe because I know what will happen (or what I expect to happen) in 2010 ahead. And the thoughts are dreadful. In another two years, there will be another farewell and another whole new world. I think I don’t like changes, although I always tell myself that I like it. I’m easily bored, so it’s delightful to see changes in my life. Bullshit.
If you ask me whether I’m ready for a new year, I might answer that I can’t wait to experience the whole new world, but I’m still not prepared. Well, whatever you do, you will never be prepared enough for a new year.
I have nothing to do during this holiday. I’m bored. But I don’t want this holiday to be over. I don’t want to stay but I don’t want to go.
The new year is going to be very tough. I’m not used to that kind of situation, so maybe I will fail miserably. I think rather than forcing myself to survive the situation, it will be better to prepare some ways to get up when I fall down. Let’s cheer up for the new year and hope for the better.
Shut Down
I just realized that I’m stupid.
I think for this holiday, I will shut my brain down by not letting it talking to me. Yes, my brain can talk, and recently this annoys me. Let me enjoy my holiday. Let the brain work again in January. Fuu~
Christmas Wishlist
Santa, I want :
1. NDS! nyanyanya
2. Money! nyanyanya
3. New good haircut
4. Good internet connection
5. Money nyanya
6. Ability to master Mandarin and Japanese
7. Money nyanya
Would you be happier?
Have you ever wonder where the story ends, and how it all began?
I do.
Do you ever think you’re someone else inside, where no one understands?
And wanna disappear inside a dream, but never wanna wake, wake up.
Then you stumble on tomorrow and trip over today.
a
Would you be happier if you were someone together?
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part?
a
You’re racing for tomorrow, not finished with today.
Aueajueaj UGAGA
Do you believe that people can change?
a
a
Friendly.
Really really friendly.
Tiring as hell.
6 months
Next year is a new year. A very difficult new year.
It’s not only new. It’s also new. It’s new.
Six months of hardwork, and we’ll see.
We’ll see.
We’ll see.
