Okay, new school, new uniform, new friends, all is new.

Am I happy? Not really, since this is not my first choice. Somehow, when I hearthe school anthem, I think the lyric really suits me. It says “We speak with one clear voice, as this is our choice..” Then I realize, yes I chose Meridian JC over St. Andrews, so I should not regret it. Well I never have any regret anyway.

I’m all alone here. The same with Cindy last year, but Cindy had the other 11 Indon scholars, while I have none. Wait, I have one. Yeah, one. I don’t want to talk much about this, so let’s just assume I have none, ok?

My class is actually quite funny. Even those who have difficulties to make friends in class actually have other friends from the same Secondary school, but they are in different class. During break, they can go with their own friends. Enviable, right?

Most of my friends might not be able to survive if they are in my position. But it’s not a problem for me. I don’t feel anything if I do everything alone. I don’t feel lonely, I don’t feel jealous. Actually I’m used to this since I was a kid.

I’m wondering, if I can survive my JC life, my friends might say “Well, it’s Necha, she doesn’t mind to be alone. If it’s me, I won’t be able to survive”

But actually, if it has been Ate or Peti, I think they can make friends easily with the seniors and the classmates, unlike me, and they can have a better JC life. It’s because people around me are friendly and kind, but I’m not good with new people.

So my point is, everybody has his own way of surviving. I might be able to survive by being a single fighter, but it doesn’t mean that you can also survive by doing the same thing. So don’t ever say “Well, it’s Necha. Of course she can be happy even though she’s the only scholar from IJ.”

a

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Whoops, I haven’t told you anything about my JC, have I?

Okay so basically, there are only 6 scholars in Meridian JC. Please compare this to Temasek JC that has 87 scholars. So the 6 scholars are : 3 Malaysian, 2 Indonesian, and 1 Chinese.

Two of the Malaysians are direct scholar to JC, so they never go to Secondary school in Singapore before. The Chinese scholar is in ‘conditional admission’. And the Indonesian girl other than me go to MJC because of shooting DSA. She got 7 points in O level, btw. So I can say that the ‘pure’ scholars are only two persons. Whoo!

Funny, Indonesians that I know have this habit of waiting for each other after school. Unfortunately, I have nobody to wait for me, so I go back to Anglican House alone. Btw, to go to MJC from Anglican House, it takes about 10 minutes walk, 10 minutes MRT, 10 minutes walk and wait for Bus, and 10 minutes Bus. So in total, it takes about 40 minutes. To and fro.

Oh well, on the first day, I got lost because I wasn’t familiar with the road at all. Then I didn’t have my roommates’ phone number yet, so I had to ask somebody on the road how to go to Anglican House.

Basically it’s the same thing everyday. During CCA recruitment, I was just wandering alone trying for various CCA. It might be a new experience, but soon you will be used to it.

At first I didn’t feel anything about it. But when I went to McNair Lodge to visit my friend, I got a feeling that it can not be like this. I mean IF I choose to go to SAJC instead, I have many friends from Thailand, Cambodia, etc that I know. IF Ate choose MJC for her third choice, she might be in the same class as me and at least I have a friend. IF I’m not an introvert person, I might be very happy with my new life. There are so many IFs. I never feel sad when I went to Anglican House and to MJC, but when I saw so many Indonesians in McNair, I suddenly miss speaking Indonesian. I miss those toa Indonesian people.

And I hate those people who read this entry, who think they know everything about me and say “what a loser”.

I never complain. I’m okay with everything that’s happening in my life.

Necha already killed her feeling long time ago. Now she cannot feel anything but guilt and happiness. Well, sometimes anger comes, but she always try to suppress it. She’s never sad, and she’s never jealous.

Well, it’s Necha anyway